Charred Tomatillo Guacamole

Is there anybody in America who doesn't like guacamole? It's the perfect example of America as culinary catch-all. Hey, Mexico--we may not like your illegal immigrants and all that drug gang stuff but we damn sure like this avocado dip, and we're going to serve it at every Superbowl party from now until the end of time. Frankly, I don't even think of guac as Mexican anymore--if you'd like an example of how it's become Americanized, get a load of some of the variations The Gourmet Cookbook offers after their base Guacamole recipe:

Guacamole with Tomato

Radish and Cilantro Guacamole

Fall-Winter Fruit Guacamole (with Fuji apple, red grapes and pomegranate seeds)

Summer Fruit Guacamole (with green grapes and ripe peach or red raspberry)

Fruit in Guacamole! I don't know about you but to me that sounds completely disgusting, like a toddler's kitchen experiment that I would pretend to eat and make encouraging sounds about.

But I've been wrong before (once I think) so I'm willing to suspend judgement almost completely until I try it.

ANYWAY. This recipe here has no fruit in it--it features tomatillos. What are tomatillos, you cry? They look like this:

Don't be afraid! They're like sort of sweet-tart tomatoes. More tart than sweet. Once you peel the husks off and rinse them (they're kind of sticky for some reason) you spread them on a baking sheet and throw them in the oven.

I forgot to take a post-charring-in-the-broiler pic but they get kind of soft and smooshy and cooked. Then you stir together onions, chilies, cilantro, salt and pepper with the charred tomatillos, and here's problem number one: skins of the tomatillos don't really mush, do they? I had to do a lot of tomatillo-skin extracting.

Then you peel and chunk the avocados, throw them in the mix, and mira! Charred Tomatillo Guacamole.

How was it? Well, it has avocados in it so of course it was freakin AWESOME, but aside from that it was a bit watery from the tomatillos. My suggestion, if you're going to branch out from good old Guac into tomatillo territory is to peel the skins after charring and before smooshing (they should slip off easily), and then to drain the tomatillos in a fine mesh sieve before adding them in. Easy fixes, but I'm surprised they didn't get caught before the recipe was included in the book.

Gracias to Mexican Foodie for tomatillo pic!

Jicama and Cucumber Chile Spears

If you're looking for a summer appetizer that is refreshing, dead simple and will fit into anybody's diet, here it is. The only problem you might potentially have is locating jicama, but that will only be if you're like at a campground or something, at the mercy of one of those campground stores. Well, the other problem might be that you've never HAD jicama and you're a naturally suspicious person, but if you haven't and you are, don't be afraid! Jicama is cool and crunchy and little bit sweet. It's DELICIOUS and you'll love it. It's even white, so there's no off-putting vegetabley color to deal with, like green or orange! Go on, give it a try.

Jicama and Cucumber Chili Spears take a mere 10 minutes--just toss your vegetable spears in a bowl with fresh lime juice, chili powder, a pinch of cayenne and salt. Done! It takes even LESS time if you can get somebody else to cut up the spears and mix them for you, like one of those college or high school students hanging around the house doing hardly anything productive. Just make sure they take off the peel on the jicama.

Helpful hint! I'm willing to bet, unless you live in Texas, that your chili powder is WAY PAST its freshness window. Do yourself a flavor favor--toss it and replace with a fresh bottle. Come on, don't be cheap--would you eat stale crackers just because you want to get your money's worth? Well, maybe you would and in that case just hang on to your stale chili powder too--everybody else, get a new bottle and ENJOY.

Flank Steak Pinwheels with Arugula Salad, and Melissa Spreads Some Happiness

Summer is here (kind of) and that means it's GRILLING WEATHER! Yes, I know you can grill year-round. Yes, I know that my dad especially grills year-round. But I! I like to be warm and carefree when I grill, and even though that sounds like I grill with hardly no clothes on, what it really means is that I wait until it's in the 70's!

Flank Steak Pinwheels with Arugula Salad is a fine, fine way to open the grilling season.

1) Flank steak is cheap! Yay!

2) The whole thing tastes great!

BUT--this recipe requires a little bit of finesse with a sharp knife so don't drink too much Memorial Day beer before you try this at your home. Unless you're better with a knife when you're drunk? Maybe you are, what do I know. Undoubtedly you THINK you are.

This recipe requires you to butterfly a flank steak, which is really just opening it up like a book (if you had to cut a book open with a knife to read it) except that it's not really like a book because flank steak is thinner and more like the September issue of Vogue. About that thick. Pretend you need to use your knife to get to the feature about pearls and fur.

Jimmy Choo, where are you?

Once you're opened it up, lay thinly sliced provolone and proscuitto on top. It's kind of like layering a lasagne, except you leave a little room at the edges.

Not my flank steak.

After you roll it up, you secure it with strings or toothpicks

Then cut it into rounds and throw it on the grill!

Not me. Also not flank steak.

This is the second grilled stuffed flank steak recipe the Gourmet team has presented--the other is in the yellow book. To tell you the truth, I liked the other one a little better--the spinach and carrots make for a prettier cross-cut, and the veggies round out the cheese-meat thing. Also, the recipe in the yellow book asks you to grill the stuffed flank steak BEFORE cutting it--and although it takes longer to cook, it's not quite as messy on the grill.

Still--this is a worthy way to cook an inexpensive cut of meat (check out Cook-Italian for an even better way, if you ask my husband.) And as with many recipes, this one should be considered a primer. Stuff it with whatever floats your boat!

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Hey, Rob Vlack!

I want to say hi to my Salem readers, foremost among them Rob and Angie Vlack. Rob used to work with me at Eliza, and one day (for reasons I can't remember, probably because I was attempting to bribe the IT department) I made Inside-Out German Chocolate Cake.

Folks, this is a good cake. And it made a deep impression on Rob, who left Eliza shortly thereafter for reasons unrelated to cake.

So I wasn't entirely surprised, when he emailed me last month to say hi, to read that he wondered if I could make him an Inside-Out German Chocolate Cake sometime (anytime!) before September--he would come pick it up and he wanted to give it to his brother to celebrate his birthday, because his brother's a great guy and deserves a great cake.

Awwww!

SUPER NICE, and how could I say no to that?

Also, out of the whole entire universe, my largest readership is in Salem, MA! (Do you hear that, Mom (who lives in Gloucester?))

Yay Salem! In my totally biased opinion, you guys are the best!

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Rob Vlack's brother!! As Rob said, that cake is richer than Bill Gates, and I hope you loved it. Rock on!

Thanks to Cook-Italian, Family Circle, The Primalist, pennlive, Jewel Catering, and Maze for image grabs.

Pho (Vietnamese-Style Beef Noodle Soup)

I've only had pho in a restaurant once, but it was a memorable experience. Our party was seated at a table that had a hole in the middle--a hole, it turns out, that was for a basin of hot, rich, beefy broth. We were given platters of soup ingredients--fragrant mint, cilantro and basil, thinly sliced raw beef, piles of bean sprouts and other veggies, wedges of lime. The mission? Construct your own pho by cooking (or not cooking) veggies and meat to your satisfaction, and creating your very own individualized soup.

That was at a Vietnamese restaurant perched on the edge of Boston's Chinatown in 1998 , and I've been longing for those particular flavors ever since.

Why then, why did it take me so long to turn my attention to Pho?

Readers, this recipe isn't online but because it's so delicious and so easy I'm going to replicate it here. Don't be intimidated by the long-ish list of ingredients--the pay-off is worth it!

6 oz rice stick noodles (vermicelli, I used some other rice noodle thing I had kicking around)

1/4 lb snow peas, cut diagonally into 1/4-inch wide strips

1 tablespoon vegetable oil

1 cup sliced shallots (three large)

3 (1/8 inch thick) slices fresh ginger, smashed

1 teaspoon minced Serrano chili (including seeds, I used a jalapeno)

3 1/2 cups beef stock or store-bought broth

1 3/4 cups water

1/2 lb thinly sliced rare roast beef, torn into pieces

6 oz fresh bean sprouts (mung) rinsed

1/4 cup loosely packed fresh cilantro

1/4 cup loosely packed fresh basil

1/4 cup loosely packed fresh mint

3 tablespoons Asian fish sauce

3 tablespoons fresh lime juice

Salt

lime wedges

Cook noodles in boiling water for 4 minutes--add snow peas and cook for 1 minute longer. Drain and rinse under cold water to stop the cooking, and drain again. Divide noodles/snowpeas into 4 large soup bowls.

Dry noodle pan, add oil and turn on moderate heat. Add shallots, ginger and chile, and cook (stirring) until shallots are brown (7-8 mins.) Add stock and water, bring to a simmer and simmer for 10 mins.

Meanwhile, divide beef, sprouts and herbs among soup bowls.

Remove ginger from broth and stir in fish sauce, lime juice and salt to taste. Ladle broth into bowls and serve immediately with lime wedges.

This recipe is killer, and it would be a perfect week to make it, what with the INCESSANT RAIN. Of course it's the fresh herbs that make it so intoxicating--if you're one of those folks who can't stand fresh herbs, what's wrong with you? Go eat a Lean Cuisine, I guess.

What makes this a quick/easy version of pho is that you're using store-bought broth instead of slaving over your own (real beef broth ain't that quick/easy), and rare deli roast beef instead of carpaccio, which is thinly sliced raw beef. The Gourmet staff amp up the broth by simmering it with goodies--ginger, shallots and chile.

And--with summer (kind of) here, or at least spring, fresh herbs should be cheap and in abundance. We do container gardening on our deck and I'll confess I went a little bananas at the plant nursery on Mother's Day and got 4 kinds of mint, among other things. 4 kinds of mint! I bet you didn't know 4 kinds of mint existed--they do and more. Chocolate, orange, spearmint and what they were labeling Mojito Mint. Yeah baby! Watch this space for mojitos and more.

Ambrosia from Gourmet Today

Mention Ambrosia to anybody from Down South and you'll conjure up images of a sweet treat--a Cool-Whip based dessert that has some fruit and coconut thrown in. Oranges (canned mandarin orange slices), pineapple (canned, crushed), cherries (maraschino)--oh, and mini marshmallows are all necessary ingredients. And coconut. Here are some pics from an image search for Ambrosia Salad:

My mom's spin on this regional fave was to add pistashio pudding powder to the Cool-Whip. You get what I'm talking about, right? Buy a box of Jell-O pistashio-flavored pudding, and instead of making pudding with it, just mix the powder into the Cool-Whip.

As kids, we adored this dessert. And the irony that it's called Ambrosia Salad will not be lost on anybody who has visited the South or the Heartland. My friend Elizabeth likes to tell the story about one of her first visits to her husband's Pennsylvania kin--at a mid-day outdoor picnic she was asked to go inside and get the salad. She wandered around the kitchen, mystefied by the lack of anything involving lettuce...turns out she was supposed to fetch something like this:

Gourmet Today has updated Ambrosia by stripping it down to the flavor essentials of citrus and coconut. On the face of it this looks easy, except it involves a real coconut--not a bag of the shredded, sweetened stuff.

Coconuts are not always around in the markets here, but I had recently seen coconuts in a display case when I was lunching at Rawbert's Organic Garden Cafe and figured I could buy one there. These coconuts are prepped by (I guess) somebody hacking away the outer green shell but leaving some of the husk that protects the brown shell and good stuff inside. This somebody with a machete also cuts a star pattern in the top which helps you get inside. I'm speculating, but it helped me.

Once I drained the water (and drank it--yummy!) I was at a loss as to how to best open this thing--the recipe has you bake the coconut and then crack it with a hammer, but they were talking about the brown coconut you'd buy in a market. I had a slightly different and better protected beast on my hands.

Finally I just went with the hammer approach and used the claw end to pry my way in.

I'm not sure if you can tell from the pic, but this coconut was soft and pliable--totally different from any coconut product I'd ever seen. It reminded me of a floppy latex mold. The recipe asks you to shred the coconut but that would be impossible unless I put some effort into dehydrating it first. I decided to julienne it as thinly as I could.

The rest is easy, a little sugar and some cream sherry (because everything is better with booze.) I made this dessert for my meditation group--we have a lunchtime potluck afterwards and one of the members is gluten-sensitive. It could have been the post-meditation high, but I thought it was delicious.

Thanks to Top 50 States, Wizard Recipes, All Occassion Catering, ifood.tv and Paris Hotel Boutique Journal for image grabs.

Grilled Pork Tenderloin with Mojo Sauce

If you've never heard of mojo sauce, we're in the same boat. And although readers of a certain era will never be able to make or even read about this sauce without a certain Doors song refraining in their minds, it has nothing to do with L.A. women, at least not in the way you're thinking of.

In fact, mojo sauce hails from points south (Canary Islands, Cuba, Puerto Rico) and at base is olive oil, garlic and citrus juice. According to Wikipedia, the most popular use of mojo sauce seems to be pepping up cooked potatoes and other tubers though it appears to be making inroads in BBQ land.

Grilled pork tenderloin is not a tuber, but why not throw these two together--a nice lean grilled meat and some peppy sauce. Sounds like a good idea, right?

I guess the answer is, it depends. Grilled Pork Tenderloin with Mojo Sauce is quick, yes--easy to prepare, yes. Also extremely garlicky, because the body of this sauce is essentially garlic (4 cloves garlic, a little oregano, orange juice and olive oil)

And for me this might not normally be a problem except I was traveling the next day to a day-long karate workshop--and transporting my sensei and two other karate students.

That's right. Sweat, close quarters and guests in an unfamiliar place. Add garlic and you've got fun.

I scraped most of the garlic off my pork--which leads me to my one critique of the recipe. The sauce would have been better pureed in a microblender--chunky bits of raw garlic (no matter how well smooshed) are unpalatable, at least to me. An image search of mojo sauce shows a smooth puree, so I'm not the first one to come up with this idea.

However--had it been a puree, I wouldn't have been able to negotiate around it. So there's that.

The workshop was anything but a social disaster (you'll be happy to hear), and if the car ride was unpleasant my karateka comrades were too polite to mention it.

But when I got home? My husband said, "Wow, you smell like you've been working out!"

Yup, something like that!

P.S. Observant readers will wonder why the mojo sauce in the picture is reddish--the oranges I had in the house were blood oranges, which have beautiful, ruby-colored juice.

Scallops with Mushrooms and Sherry from Gourmet Today

My husband and I hosted my parents for Easter dinner and we had Scallops with Mushrooms and Sherry (along with some of the other foods you've been reading about here lately.) Scallops certainly aren't a traditional Easter offering, but we're not really a traditional kind of family. Don't believe me? My father, who served as an officer in the US Army for 21 years, used to play the guitar and sing The Draft Dodger Rag at every extended family gathering.

This is a pretty easy recipe that falls into the sear protein/make pan sauce/finish protein category, and the only hurdle really is having all your ingredients at hand so you can make the pan sauce quickly. Sometimes this can be challenging if you're hosting a dinner party--I don't know about you, but I find it difficult to cook and talk (and drink) at the same time. In spite of my friend Moira's dedicated belief that I should be the next Food Network superstar, I'm pretty sure I would be terrible at cooking while on camera. Although in Julia Child's case, her blunders made for great TV so what do I know?

Anyway, don't look for me on TV anytime soon--and check out this recipe for a quick-yet-fancy dinner.

Roasted Asparagus with Shallots and Sesame Seeds

It's spring! That means it really truly is asparagus season, which is flooding the markets from points south. And while it's not popping out of the ground quite yet here in New England, there's no reason you shouldn't start enjoying the bounty now.

Roasted Asparagus with Shallots and Sesame Seeds is one of three asparagus recipes in Vegetable chapter of The Gourmet Cookbook (the yellow one), and it's a perfectly respectable way to prepare this vegetable. If you understand all the words in the recipe title, you've got the gist--asparagus is roasted in the oven and tossed with its friends minced shallots and (lightly toasted) sesame seeds. A little more roasting, a little squeeze of lemon juice and you've got yourself a side dish.

Happy Spring!

Pistachio Schadenfreude, or Melissa Learns a New Vocabulary Word

There's a handful of foreign-born words in use by the literati that's a little...hazy. In my own mind, that is. It took me decades to finally remember what sturm und drang means (and I only remember now because "sturm" is much like "storm")--I saw it in use so rarely that it took a while to stick.

So I was a little suspicious of Pistachio Semifreddo, at least of the name. But the head notes in Gourmet Today are reassuring--semifreddo means "half-cold"--that seems easy enough, right? Like semisweet chocolate. (Though it must be noted that I've told everybody since I made this dish that semifreddo means "half-soft". WHATEVA, foreign-born words! I really am trying!)

This is a delicious dessert. Man is it easy, and if I were a dedicated ice cream eater I would throw away my ice cream maker (pain in the tuckus) because this technique rocks.

Here it is--grind pistachios with sugar. Whip egg whites with sugar. Whip heavy cream with almond extract. Fold all three together. Freeze. The result is creamy and light at the same time and of course pistachios are awesome.

If you've never heard of semifreddo, you might be wondering if you could make it with something besides pistachios--and the answer is yes! Epicurious has three pages of recipes --everything from grappa semifreddo to banana-peanut.

You might be wondering now about the title of this blog post, which is neither sturm und drang OR semifreddo. Well, it's because I was in a conversation that went like this:

My husband: What's the name of that dessert? It means something like "world weariness, right?"

Me: O_o

My husband: Shu...Sha...

Me: Do you mean shadenfreude?

My husband: Yes.

Me: No. The name of the dessert is "semifreddo". It means half-soft, not world weariness.

My husband: Are you sure?

Me: Of course I'm sure! Why would somebody name a dessert Pistachio World Weariness?

My husband: I don't know...maybe you eat it when you're weary?

Then I looked up Shadenfreude because I didn't know exactly what it meant but I see it slung around from time to time when people are trying to look smart (talking to you, book critics)

Hey, guess what? Shadenfreude does NOT mean world weariness, it means "pleasure derived from the misfortune of others". For some reason, the idea of hanging this concept on a dessert makes me laugh, probably because I'm immature enough to enjoy the idea of somebody getting their just desserts.

Artichokes with Garlic Pimiento Vinaigrette

As I have (probably) mentioned elsewhere on this blog when the subject of artichokes comes up, I was raised eating artichokes one way, and one way only: steamed, with a ramekin on the side of melted butter liberally salted and lemoned.

Eating artichokes this way is one of the purest pleasures on earth--a slow scraping of each individual leaf, then freeing the heart from its prickly mantle and devouring it in quarters in the last dredges of milky, lemony butter.

It's inconceivable to me that anybody would want to eat artichokes any other way, but apparently they do. Here's one of those other ways--Artichokes with Garlic Pimiento Vinaigrette.

This recipe has you steam artichokes in the usual way, but only after you trim them and extricate the choke with a melon baller. This is, my lambs, easier said than done--depending on how farm-fresh your artichoke is, you might have a struggle getting those inner leaves pried open enough to scrape out the choke. I did and was none too happy about it. BUT it's always good to have an opportunity to trot out your most creative swear words.

While they're steaming you'll make the vinaigrette--a pleasant garlic/oil/vinegar brightened up with chopped pimientos and parsley. It makes for pretty plate! I couldn't bring myself to serve the artichokes cold (for me cold food requires 80 degree days) so mine were warm-ish, and although my dinner companions ate these up (and so did I) frankly I like them better served hot with lemon butter. Sorry.

Exciting late-breaking Artichoke News: while exchanging tales of Easter dinners in the break room at work, one of my co-workers mentioned his mother's stuffed artichoke recipe--bready and garlicky and buttery. That sounds like something I can get behind--Mike, please ask your mom for the recipe!

Balsamic-Glazed Pork Chops from Gourmet Today

I've always been on the fence about pork chops. Center-cut chops especially are so lean and finely textured that even when NOT overcooked they seem dry and bland.

Balsamic-Glazed Pork Chops is a pretty good remedy for this situation, and it's quick enough to be a weeknight dinner. I'm a fan of any meal that can be cooked in one vessel--in this case it's a big ole frying pan, stovetop.

What was different about this dish for me was the treatment of the shallots (or in my case white boiling onions since shallots were unfindable at the market last night)--you peel but leave the root end intact--then quarter. Those go in the pan with the chops and the time it takes to sear both sides of the meat is also about the time it takes to get some carmelizing action on the onions.

2/3 cup balsamic vinegar + a little sugar serves to deglaze the pan, and in just a few minutes you've got a nice thick glaze to coat your chops as you finish them.

My favorite part of this was the onions--they were tangy and jammy. Balsamic vinegar is really pretty amazing for the flavors you can get out of it. I'm still not completely sold on pork chops, but I enjoyed this preparation.

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If you've been enjoying my journey cooking through The Gourmet Cookbook and Gourmet Today, you'll also like The Gourmet Project, where Teena has been doing the same thing (minus Gourmet Today).

In fact, Teena is very close to being done! She's a mere 25 recipes or so away from having cooked through the ENTIRE Gourmet Cookbook. Considering that there are roughly 1300 recipes in that book, this is quite a feat! She thought she would be relieved to be done with such a huge undertaking, but finds that she's actually kind of sad. She's mulling over whether or not to be crazy some more and embark on cooking through Gourmet Today.

I say, of course! I need company in my craziness! So do a girl a favor and go over to The Gourmet Project and tell Teena she should do it.

Romaine, Radish and Cucumber Salad with Tahini Dressing from Gourmet Today

Let's face it. You're not bored with salads, you're bored with the dressing you choose over and over again. Maybe you're in the balsamic vinaigrette camp. Maybe you're in the Ken's Light Italian Dressing Camp. Or maybe (horrors!) you're in raspberry or poppyseed land. Wherever you are, it ALL TASTES THE SAME. Am I right?

Throw off the shackles of your self-imposed salad dressing servitude and try something new. Romaine, Radish and Cucumber Salad with Tahini Dressing is (probably) a new flavor profile for you to try, unless you are in the habit of hanging out at falafel carts.

A little hazy on what tahini is, exactly? It's sesame seed paste, and it is to Middle Eastern cuisines what peanut butter is to American households--wildly popular and used in practically everything, though it must be said I've never heard of a tahini and jelly sandwich. Are you a fan of hummus? You've had tahini. It's in your supermarket--just head down the exotic ingredient aisle and look for the Greek/Middle Eastern section. Here's a pic:

So, forget about the salad part here--this dressing could really go on any veggies. The ones listed are fine but you could also try tomato, olives, endive, mushrooms, raw bell peppers, baby spinach, carrots, and sugar snap peas. And if you have a micro-blender (like Magic Bullet) it's ideal for blending this up quickly--and you will need a blender because of the garlic.

The recipe helpfully points out that the salad is delicious stuffed in a pita for a nice lunch. I concur!

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If you are a fan of a) cook-through blogging b) chick flicks c) Julia Child d) meta-anything and e) for the lulz...I have an absurd yet somehow completely riveting blog for you to follow. Please meet Lawrence, college student somewhere on the West Coast (I think) who has decided to watch Julie and Julia every day for one year and blog about it in The Lawrence/ Julie and Julia Project.

Why somebody would take on such a masochistic task is beyond me (the movie has infiltrated his dreams) but somehow, every day he manages to see the movie (or parts of it anyway) from a different and often very funny slant. I doubt anybody except the director and the producer of Julie and Julia has paid such close attention to the details. And although I'm pretty sure Lawrence will never become a chef (or cook-through blogger) himself, he surely has the makings of a great project manager, as in tenacious, detail-oriented and a glutton for punishment. Alternatively, maybe he has a future in Hollywood. Who knows?

P.S. Readers with delicate sensibilities please be advised: Lawrence is a college-aged male. That means he refers to porn, has tried his hand at erotica featuring Julia and Paul Child, and swears a lot. There is also, inexplicably, a photo of him making out with a giant bag of chopped onions. Nope, not kidding.

Asian Pears with Vanilla-Poached Kumquats

Looking for a dairy- and gluten-free dessert? Like orange marmalade? Then you can't go wrong with Asian Pears with Vanilla-Poached Kumquats. The ingredients may be hard to track down--depends on how adventuresome your market is--but if you can find the two main ingredients (Asian pears and kumquats) the rest is cake.

The kumquats are poached in lime syrup (1/4 cup lime juice, water, sugar) along with half a vanilla bean. Pour that over thinly sliced Asian pears, let it sit for a while, and you're done. Easy!

Apprehensive about these unusual fruits? Don't be--Asian Pears are kind of new to the country but they're picking up steam in America--I see on the interwebs that they're trying to cultivate them in Texas. They look like apples (with a similar bite-feel) but have the texture and flavor of pears.

They also hold up well, at least in this dish. Apple pie bakers, you know how using Golden Delicious guarantees you'll have cohesive apple pieces that even have a little bit of firmness? Same deal here.

Kumquats are like the teeniest tiniest little oranges you ever saw--you could serve them at your dolly's tea party as a snack.

The funny thing about these citrus fruits is that the rind is sweet(ish) and the inside is the bitter part. I just eat them whole. In this recipe you slice them into rounds and de-seed--there's usually one one seed. Poached, you get an experience that's very much like a fine orange marmalade--sweet with just an edge of bitterness.

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Hey, you--Busy Person. Person who loves Top Chef but can't seem to find the time to watch it. Allow me to introduce you to Karen Carlson and her blog, A Just Recompense.

Karen recaps the Top Chef shows as they appear, and her commentary is both passionate and funny. This is not the main order of business on her blog--she also reviews stories that appear in Tin House, The New Yorker, and other lit mags--additionally, she's working her way through BASS.

Check her out--you'll appreciate her. I do. And keep an eye out for her guest blogger, Zin Kenter, who is a hoot. They're both published authors (Zin most recently in Smokelong)--you can see their bona fides in the right-hand column.

Tomato, Cucumber and Pineapple Salad with Asian Dressing from Gourmet Today, and ALSO! Melissa is a SUPERTASTER!

You don't get a lot of call (at least in my experience) for salad involving fruit that also involves fish sauce. That could possibly be because I've never been to Southeast Asia, where fish sauce--or Nam Pla--is used as a condiment for anything from curries to casseroles.

Here's some fish sauce:

Don't ask me what the shrimp and the chef are doing here--it looks a little fishy to me:

According to wikipedia, fish sauce is made by layering single or multiple species of fish/shellfish with salt, and pressing for liquid. Some countries have longer or shorter fermenting times for the sauce, others add herbs and spices. Thai fish sauce (which is what I happen to have in my kitchen) is made exclusively from anchovies and salt.

So how does this figure into Tomato, Cucumber and Pineapple Salad? Fish sauce is in the dressing, which also contains garlic paste, lime juice, sugar, vegetable oil and serrano chili. Toss with tomatoes, cucumbers, pineapple, fresh mint and fresh cilantro, and you have an unusual and delicious salad.

I brought this to a family gathering, and everybody loved it. I did too, but I still just couldn't help noticing that it smelled like fish, which just seemed weird to me. It didn't taste like fish, it smelled like it. Did I feel like I was in a very sophisticated cafe somewhere in Vietnam, as the notes for the recipe predicted? Nope. I felt like I was at my mother's birthday party at my sister's house in Bradford, MA. But it was interesting to make and eat anyway.

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So, what's this Supertaster business, you ask?

1. Confirmation that if I were ever a superhero, my powers would involve food, as I have ALWAYS SUSPECTED

2. A name bestowed upon people with lots and lots of fungiform papillae on their tongues (that's taste buds to you lesser mortals)

How did I find this out? My sister's young neighbor Lily is doing a science fair project and dyed our tongues blue during the birthday party so she could gather data. Then, using her doctor daddy's high-powered magnifying specs

she counted how many taste buds we had inside an area the size of a hole-punch. She did not punch holes in our tongues, however.

The lowest count was 17, average was in the low 20's, supertasters (like me, my dad and my niece Savannah) had 30.

Unfortunately, my dad and I blow Lily's theory that supertasters = picky eaters. Savannah certainly qualifies, but my dad and I are adventuresome eaters, always have been. Supertasters are supposed to be especially sensitive to spicy heat and bitterness, however, and I will admit that broccoli rabe (my husband's all-time favorite vegetable) is dead last on the list of vegetables I'd like to eat.

As for what biological purpose supertasters might serve, it's speculated that it's an advanced foraging skill, as in if something is bitter it's probably not good to eat and might even be poisonous. So if the end of the world comes and you can't get Apocalypse Alec to show you what to eat, we can browse around in the woods for dinner and I'll keep you from poisoning yourself.

Midwest Boiled Dinner from Gourmet Today

This could be a better picture, but when you're hungry and a table full of people are waiting on you to hurry up and get there so they can start eating...well, food art goes out the window. But you get the idea--Midwest Boiled Dinner (any boiled dinner) is a miracle of cooking efficiency: meat and four veggies that are cooked in the same pot and still retain their unique characters.

The secret is a staggered cooking time, with the potatoes jumping in first, then turnips, followed by carrots and last, cabbage. I had never made a boiled dinner with smoked pork butt--only corned beef, and I will forever more make it with smoked pork--if you're gearing up for St. Paddy's Day and want to try this, look for a 2 lb. piece of smoked pork butt, also called smoked pork shoulder butt, and also sometimes (from what I read) called a Boston butt. Hey, I don't do the naming, I'm just your humble reporter.

And since this recipe isn't on Epicurious, I'll give you the rundown--bring your pork butt to a boil in water to cover, along with 2 bay leaves and 10 peppercorns. Simmer for an hour. (If there's netting, let it cook in the netting for 5 mins, then cut it off). Add 1.25 lbs or so of peeled small yellow potatoes (like Yukon Gold), and simmer for 8 mins; add 3/4 lbs peeled and 1-inch-wedged turnips and simmer for 5 mins (fyi I used radishes which are like little bitty turnips); add peeled carrots that have been cut into 3" lengths and simmer for 10 mins; then finally add 1.5 lbs cabbage (1 small or half large) that's been cut into 6 wedges and simmer for 7-10 mins.

Then take it all out and put it on a platter that you've been keeping in a warming oven (like at 175)--cover with foil. Oh, slice the pork first. And artfully arrange your veggies. Keep the boiling water, you'll want a little bit.

To make the sauce (what? I didn't tell you about the sauce??? It's Brown Butter-Horseradish Sauce!!) melt 6 tbsp butter in a pan and let the milk solids brown (if you've never done this, watch this useful video:)

Please note that I see her sort of jostling the pan around IF YOU HAVE A GAS STOVE DON'T DO THIS because at best you'll get butter on your clothes (which sucks) and at worst you'll have a butter bonfire. Use a wooden spoon (or something) to stir and see what's going on under the foam.

After the butter has browned, take it off the heat and stir in 2 tbsp bottled horseradish, 1 tbsp reserved cooking liquid, 2 tsp white vinegar and 1/4 tsp salt. And there's your sauce! Serve brown mustard on the side and voila--dinner is served.

And hey! The fact that this is called Midwest Boiled Dinner makes me think of my new friends in MN who actually all seem to prefer French Bistro and/or Mexican food. See you guys next week!

Celery, Sesame and Tofu Salad from Gourmet Today

This is me, learning to love tofu. Okay, if not love, at least learning how versatile it is. Celery, Sesame and Tofu Salad is pretty quick to prepare and as long as you have the celery and tofu chances are you have the rest of the ingredients in your cupboard.

The celery and pressed tofu are tossed with a dressing of rice vinegar, sesame oil, toasted sesame seeds and a little soy sauce. And, that's it! Here are some things to love about this salad:

1. It's sturdy. Unlike other salads that wilt overnight, this one holds up--for me, over the course of 5 days in the fridge.

2. It's a nice alternative to salad with beans. If you're trying to cut back on meat but are bored with beans, here's a different way to add some protein to the mix. The downside is that this salad isn't especially filling, but oh well.

I'm not sure this salad has the oomph to be a main course (if you were so inclined), but it certainly makes a respectable component to a meal. It would be great with salmon!

Catfish with Green Olives from Gourmet Today

Does your enthusiasm ever wax and wane for the things you love? Mine does--although I can be the most ardent of lovers, sometimes I just get over-saturated and need a break.

So it has been with cooking--I've apparently taken a little mental holiday where I've relinquished cooking control and responsibility to my ever-patient and charming (and handsome) husband who has seen to it that we've been well-fed.

You know how I know this spark has been rekindled? I opened Gourmet Today to a random page--and the recipe was something crazy, like Butter-Toasted Oatmeal with Brown Sugar Glaze (I made that up--blogging in a faraway and cozy upstairs bedroom). And what I felt was a combo of mmm, that sounds good/that's weird and interesting/I'm going to make that. Its not a mind thing, it's a heart/stomach thing.

So aside from cooking ambition, what has been my most recent practical cooking need? Fast, weeknight foods, and that's where Gourmet Today comes in. 30 minutes to make? Yeah, baby.

Don brought home some catfish from H-Mart (along with a lot of unmarked pastries that have no calorie count so they must have no calories, right? Right?) and Catfish with Green Olives presented itself as the obvious dinner choice.

This is a one-pan dish, and I altered it to suit my needs (as you should with quick, weeknight meals). The recipe asks you to heat oil in a pan, lay the catfish in skinned-side down, and top with your mix of chopped green olives, lemon zest and chopped parsley. Lay a round of buttered parchment paper on top to keep the moisture in while it cooks for about 8 mins.

I heated up a little chicken broth instead, and although I had olives and parsley, no lemon--so I sprinked the fish with rice vinegar instead. I skipped the buttered paper and just covered the skillet with a lid--it's the same idea.

The bonus of using broth instead of oil was that after I took the fish out and covered it, I revived leftover rice on one side of the pan and wilted some broccoli slaw on the other. Voila--quick dinner for three.

Catfish can be hard to find in New England, but if you are near an Asian market of any sort you may have better luck there. And if you live in the area but haven't been to H-Mart in Burlington yet--check it out. It's a wonder.

(photo above by Romulo Yanes, snagged from Epicurious)

Melissa Atones by Writing a List

Hey folks, remember when I said my life was sort of kind of a little busy and kind of crazy? Nothing has changed! The bad news is, less time for blogging. The good news is, I'm still cooking.

That's right--these past few months I've been cooking one or two recipes a week out of Gourmet Today, and here they are.

Moscow Mule

Vodka, ginger beer and lime juice. What could go wrong? Nothing! The big revelation here was finding Goya Jamaican Style Ginger Beer, which is ten thousand times better than Cap't Eli's. I had a taste-test (of two) and declare this the winner.

Gumbo Z'Herbes

Friend with overflowing garden + craving soup = thinking this is a pretty good recipe to try. Tons-o-greens in this--we're talking turnip, cabbage, beet, mustard, spinach, parsley...all made much less healthy by a few ham hocks.

And hey, guess what? 1 pound Salt pork DOES NOT EQUAL two pounds of meaty ham hocks! A) I curse Stop n Shop for being so White and b) sadly, I ruined this soup because I was too lazy to drive to Market Basket and get the effing ham hocks.

That doesn't mean I didn't give it a shot. But salty--holy jesus.

Turkish-Style Lamb Burgers with Walnut Sauce

I have a friend, Burak. He's from Turkey, and he not only loves food in general, he loves food from his homeland. We are constantly talking about having a dinner party featuring Turkish food, or going to this or that restaurant that serves Turkish food, so it was with NO SMALL AMOUNT OF GUILT that I whipped up this recipe and didn't alert Burak (who lives two hours away in Portland) to come help us eat it.

I did tell him about it the next time I saw him, though, and carefully described the ingredients of the burgers, and the walnut sauce (which, btw, is just walnuts ground w/ a little water, lemon juice and spices).

When I mentioned cayenne, though, Burak brought me up short.

"That is not Turkish."

"It was just a little bit! Just, like, a tiny little pinch."

"No. There really is no cayenne in Turkish food."

"So putting cayenne in something makes it not Turkish?"

"That's right."

So there you go. That must be why this recipe is called Turkish-STYLE. And the bonus was I didn't have to feel guilty any more.

Lamb Chili with Masa Harina Dumplings

Hey, it's turning cold and what better to take the chill off than a little spicy chili? This is a southwestern-style lamb chili and it's not for the faint of heart what with all the New Mexico chiles and canned chipotle in adobo. Don't make this one for your granny.

How did I screw this one up? By not being able to find masa harina (not even in Market Basket) and just guessing that coarse cornmeal might be pretty much the same thing. Guess what--it's not. So the dumpling batter didn't hold together at all, and really what it ended up being was a flavorful thickener to this already pretty thick chili.

But--delicious! Plain Greek-style yogurt was awesome on top. Oh I forgot the other pain-in-the-ass moment, which was that I could only find lamb shoulder chops (bone-in). Ugh, so tedious to trim those. I hear that meat markets are coming back into style--I have to go find a few that I like because this supermarket stuff is for the birds.

Chockfull Blondies

THESE ARE THE BEST EFFING BAR COOKIES I HAVE EVER EATEN, EVER.

That's all you need to know, really. Go make them.

Chocolate Souffle Cake with Orange Caramel Sauce

Happy 17th birthday to O'Malley! As I do every year, I asked my son what he wanted for a cake. And as is his way, he was far more concerned with the tastes of his guests than what he desired for himself. It went like this:

"Zack doesn't like chocolate."

"Well, it's not Zack's birthday. It's your birthday. What do you want?"

"Aedan LOVES chocolate."

"And I'm guessing Brittany does too. What about Ben?"

"He'll eat anything."

Since O'Malley also likes chocolate, then we went through the chocolate cake options in Gourmet Today--Devil's Food Cake with Marshmallow Frosting, Double Chocolate Layer Cake, Chocolate Sour Cream Layer Cake, and so on. And O'Malley (as is his way) wanted the one that sounded the most sophisticated, which was this one.

This recipe involves making caramel (which I've done a gazillion times now, thanks to The Gourmet Cookbook)--but really the surprise in this recipe is that the orange caramel sauce is not really caramely in the way that you're thinking (like a kind of gooey ice cream topping). It's actually caramel-flavored orange juice, which you pour over the cake.

Not what I was expecting, but very good nevertheless. The kids loved it--ate it up with ice cream while they watched Harold and Maude. Isn't that a cool birthday?

Chai-Poached Apricots and Plums

It's nice to remember every once in a while that dessert doesn't have to involve flour and chocolate. This is a nice poached fruit recipe that calls for chai in the poaching liquid--this is great with vanilla ice cream or just on its own.

And that's my repentant wrap-up! Big thanks to the photographers of Epicurious-all the photos you see here are pulled from that site. I guess it's kind of a symbiotic relationship.

Happy fall, people! Go apple-picking.

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Gluten-free recipes in this post: Chai-Poached Apricots and Plums, Gumbo Z'Herbes, Moscow Mule

Low-carb recipe in this post: Gumbo Z'Herbes

Low-fat recipes in this post: Chai-Poached Apricots and Plums, Gumbo Z'Herbes, Moscow Mule

Recipe WIN in this post: Chockfull Blondies